I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
