i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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