Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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