it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
