Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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