the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
its not stalking. its research.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize