Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
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My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
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I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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