i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
