I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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