Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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