capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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