My Higher Power is John Stamos
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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