She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
