i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
