So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
