I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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