carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
