The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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