I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
