i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
