She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
