How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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