Got a toothbrush?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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