their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
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how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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