I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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