We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
