My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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