you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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