i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
