New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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