office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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