THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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