Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Your cock deserves a montage
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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