i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
