we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
