this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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