Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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