oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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