Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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