yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
