Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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