I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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