its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize