OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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