scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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