R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
