Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize