dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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