He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
