...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
