he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
