Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
