I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize