so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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