Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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