Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize