don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
