Your mouth is God's brothel.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
