i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
