Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
