that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
