would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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