First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
