Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
