things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
