So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
