Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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