Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
