On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize